Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
hey hey! woah! so long nvr post sia. miss u man. heheh.
now watching saiyuki reloaded episode 18 part 2 of 3 on you tube. Been watching tt fer many many days. actually since wednesday i guess. before tt i started watching sakura but cudnt find de original version so sad :)
then watched samurai x de movie onli coz i find de series quite draggy n was looking forward to watching other stuff. den watched rave. din watch finish den watch saiyuki den now saiyuki reloaded. de saiyuki aint satisfying enuf coz de last eps is in eng version. not in jap wif de subs. those in jap so subs so i dun get a ting dey saying so too bad so sad muz watch de eng version. i dun like coz my fav charac de cho hakkai his voice so diff fm de original not soft polite n cute anymore so i dun like. but like i said its too bad coz i veri despo nd watch evrytin til finish heheh.
now i watching so ltr.
break time. hahah i juz love tt cho hakkai. so handsome n acts like a mum hahah. hes so funny too n hes like de most innocent amongst de 4 of dem heheh. i like tt.
oh boy its gonna take sumtime fer de 3 part 3 of eps 18 to load completely. hahah. i lazy open so many windows like i always do last couple of days. tts y muz wait long long. anyway i oso wan blog at de same time so no piggy.
last nite i imagine myself to sleep. i kept imagining these few days. n yest was de worst ever. coz i tink i imagine too much den i cant take my mind off tt imagination den i cant slp. crasy ar me. imagine to much den cant slp. i felt like so weird
den i tot religiously coz i kept long nail fer too long n tt i nvr pray fer so long n tt even i finish my period i hvnt mandi hadas i tink ar de wateva syaitan like controlled my body like tt. i cud feel like its inside of me n makin me suffer n it hurts to tink of tt
oso many time my stomach juz hurt fer no reason eh. den i tot of logical reasons fer tt. i din eat breakfast. my lunch was veri little dan usual. i ate fries n bubble tea n drank milk tea together den i nvr eat lunch. tryin to lose weight u see. psychologically u can sae im insane but now im still sane. ok im toking nuts
i tink coz i ate so unaturally tts y my tummy pain. these few nites rawiyah kept coughing while sleeping or in de morning wen she wake up muz cough one. i dunno y. maybe coz tt time she ate 3 ice creams 2 days in a row. coz she ate too much junk food like those fries or she drank cold water like yest
yest mak came into our rm i tink ard 3 am den check on rawiyah i hv no idea y. den position de fam downwards. she saw me still awake den tell me rawiyah is sweating like mad. i was feeling veri hot oso but not coz de fan face up i tink coz i cudnt take ma ming of the imagination ting den try to get to slp but canot. its like tt nite my mind has a mind o fits own. dosnt make sense i noe
lets see yest morn was usual like fm wed to fri. wake up ard noon on comp make n eat breakfast n watch youtube whole day den ard 6 or 7 plus wen mak n ayah reach hm off comp eat dinner imagine or sing song listen to radio or cds den imagine to slp. heheh
but yest on fer a while only den slack at maks rm den go my own rm imagine alot alot. while doin tt mak n ain went out fer a jog. wait tt was wen i was still using de comp. wen dey came back hm i off comp fer lunch den slack at maks rm den i go my rm imagine while de rest go out play badminton. i slacker i noe. usually i wud go out excercise n play wif rawiyah but tt day i felt strange. my mood was strange like i wasnt myself like tt
i kept myself inside my rm n play wif my imagination while listenin to clay aiken n jason mraz songs. so sad dun hv josh groban songs. sobx
kikaku n ginkaku. weird names eh. tink tts it fer now ar. lrt ard 2 or more coz im positively 100% completely sure tt hes gonna be late, pops gonna bring his 3 children out to play at de playground. chiss! im to old fer tt man Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 11:28 AM
Tuesday, March 13, 2007always like to make many many changes every now and then to my new blog skin
still considered new to me coz you know not even one year old yet
lioness n shigina doing the ccna thing. tink they doing the quizzes. making so much noise in the process. just now shigina crasy leh. she n lioness wen tou tsae dey looking fer teacher or whatever i hv no idea.
shigina then sae boo tink she wanted to frighten me inside here
but she look crasy doing it then like no reaction fm me. hahah
i now nomood do that ccna thingy tink will do it wen i get home. but then again i tink i betta do now coz ltr at home i wun hv any mood to do anything but to watch you tube the love hina till the end
now shigina dunno playing wad game on the net. i typing like makin so much noise
later going out wif dem or maybe going home ba if dey wan go hm. den i can watch you tube the love hina till finish den move on. i wan watch rave de anime with the gal with powers den de boy wif de huge giganto sword den hv de cute animal dat travels wif dem. veri cute de le
aiyah no mood do de ccna tingy so i wan play game wor chao!!! Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 3:13 PM
Monday, March 12, 2007i realise that ma bloggie looks brighter with pictures yea.
tinkin of dis makes me more n more despo fer camera hp. haiz...
sat went to ikea wif Mak. ate at um...sumwer in tampines. ate laksa n de famous popiah basah n nasi lemak wif sum kind o fish we dun usually eat @ hm went looking fer de free shuttle to ikea. Mak brave ask a bus driver who was tokin to another bus driver
went window shoppin at ikea. too bad we were al so full canot eat ice cream dr heheh
mak told many stories again. shes despo fer more $ so can buy all de furni tt she wishes ter hv
i hv $90 plus in ma bank
dr a few stuff in ikea tt costs less than $10. i plan to rely on ma bank acc fer 9 yrs to buy Mak bday presents fm ikea
i oledi noted 2 or 3 stuff mak wanted tt time we went den she kept sayin wun i tbe nice to hv these or like dey r so nice suit fer our house sumtin like tt
tis yr i plan to buy wooden baskets. ard 9.90 each i tink. juz buy 1. rap it n gv it to her on her bday. hope she wud be happy.
im sad tinkin im not like other daughters dey wok early in eir teen life den got many $ den can buy wad expensive stuff like real jewelerries fer their mums. im so jealous. envy them. haiz...
yest went out wif pops to de pasir ris beach den went botanic garden. den went sumwer he always go fer cheap food. u noe pops, always tryin to buy cheap stuff tinkin it lasts but doesnt den hv to always buy more. tts how he waste his $. he dosnt pay his bills much but spends more on stuff tt oder ppl always buy coz he wans show off hes rich but hes not hes juz a show off
he passes us boots he bought not in spore as he says tings here r expensive like travelling aint he juz wans waste his $ travelling coz he cant stay put. like me like to merayap like tt
no mood to blog now guess i blog too much oledi
yest like so enthu wan blog sae to meself muz blog today tell all tt happen yest n day b4 n day b4 tt but haiz look at me now hair so messy n stuff if only hv hp wif camera den can tak pic of ma messy hair den show u guys haiz so sad Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 4:44 PM
previous post was gettin crowded so i cut it short. here are other picts tt we took while in Sentosa. enjoy starrin! hahah!
Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 4:32 PM
Sentosa Island Resort. Very nice place to be at on a windy day. But when the day gets hot you better get out of there before your feet melts and then you are doomed to be barbequed in the intense heat. Hahah. Cool.Went to Sentosa last Friday. Had loads of fun yeah. Met Sexy at Bedok bus interchange. Took train to Vivo city where we walked about then watched some chinese show on the third floor. There were a few toddles there with their mothers. Participating on some event I guess. Very cute they are.Walked out to the waters to observe some female mothers taking photos of their kids. Not from Singapore they are not. Lioness reached late as usual so met her at the train entrance to Sentosa. Hang on. I was wearing shorts for the very first time and saw Sexy wore singlet for the very first time too. Woohoo! She looked damn sexy in it. Hahah!Lioness wore her usual clothes uh, nothing very surprising. They wore same old slippers & I had to wear shoes as I had no casual slipper. There are 3 actually but none my size. Pity.Had problem with my stupid card so everytime had to have the assistant there to help me with it. Lioness & Sexy only waited in front laughing at me. Hmph! Evil. Grrr.Wet ourselves, well Sexy got the most of the salt water, hahah! I actually planned to push each one of them down but looking at my size & calculating the strength I would need to somehow push them down. It was impossible. Can't even ask 1 of them to help me push the other. So sad.Brought hoge bag like wanting to go camping. Tried introducing 3 games for us to play but they aren't sporting so too bad it wasn't fun. If my aunties was there it would be more fun. Sad case.Ate somewhere, walked a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long, sweating, perspiring, adventurous, long-lasting, tiring, exhausting, aching, headacheful, dreadfully thirsty walk. Rubbish I know. Just trying to emphasize on the walk. It was damn long, tiring, etc, etc, etc.Took many pictures along the way though.
Went uphill to those very interesting statues.
Each like representing a fairytale but no princesses. They suck at choosing fairytales. They choose those that were rarely heard by people nowadays. Stupid choices. Should make like Cinderella or Snow White & such so would attract more people. Sad case.
We took pictures of ourselves in front of Merlion and the Merlion itself.
Then we walked the longest walk I ever had in ages & found this very interesting tree. Thought was cotton tree so I took 1 home & showed Mak. She said it was "kapas" tree. She knows plants better so I had to ask her. We still have it here at this house.
Had slurpee and took train back & forth from Sentosa to Vivo twice as they wanted to take pictures of the scenery outside but in the end never took it as Lioness gave up & Sexy said it's too far we won't be able to see anything. Sad case.
Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 3:50 PM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007I'm here without you baby. i think about u baby i dream bout u all de time.
cont fm previous.
i was peeing in 461 tt house de bedrm toilet. al gals live dr so we like dun care who wears wad even wok across de house naked but of course muz make sure front door close if not wad ppl tink free show ar lol. so door was open de le den spraying tgn cebok lerr. suddenly wen look up saw 2 pair of gigantic brown eyes. stare at it @ 1st tot ghost like pontianak like tt but den realise its ain but ma brain send signal too slow de le so i like scream fer like 10 secs. ey 10 secs quite long de le. den while screaming my hand like u noe stress like tt den 1 hand holdin de spray ting den terpress so spray water like at 1 direction but away fm me. den while screaming ain stupid sia stare @ ma face den her eyes grow bigger den like even more scary den like i scream more tts y its 10 secs wor
aft tt ma heart pump so hard den ain lauf lauf at me n tel me ma reaction damn funny so i hear oso lauf lauf. lol tt time really sia she haiz scrae me many times lor. her eyes like sexy de eyes big big den u imagine place is like dark den suddenly see 2 eyes fm nowhere of course tot ghost rite den wil sure scream 1 lor
got 1 more time rawiyah not born yet oso den we were like playin detective. hahah. sry cant stop laufing veri funny hahah. ok chill
i ask her like pretend hide sumwer wer de so called suspect cant see her den i so called pretend ask suspect qn den we can like nail him down n hv evidence like tt. de suspect was like we imagine sum1 but actually no one hahah. den she stupid sia hide behind sum clothes tt hang from a pole. de one attatch to wheels cam move anywhere one. den hahah. den i try look ard make sure she hidden n cant be seen but then hahah. sry hahah
i look at de clothes hang fm one end to de other den see 2 big brown eyes in btw de clothes den scare me sia hahah. den i like literally jumped n screamed hahah. HAHAHAH!
she like oso like terkejut dunno y i scream den she cum out i saw its her so i lauf lauf den sae she stupid one hide dr. she ;auf lauf veri confuse den i tel her coz many times she scare me wif her bog eyes ba so she noe. den i tel her y she go hide dr wen i told her hide so canot see her ba. she sae she hiding n spying at same time so i like walau she ar. haiz muz do sumting bout her eyes really ar. 1 day can realy gv me heart attack hahah
de most recent 1 happen at tis house wen bella was here. HAHAHAH! sry ppl juz cant stop laufing juz tinking bout it hahah. i was like sitting by doorway of ma rm toking to ain. she was inside rm so i muz like look into rm den dunno who wok behind me ar. den ain sae got sum1 behind me. aiyah i veri stupid i look slowly coz i dun blive got sum1 n i tot got ghost. den turn ma head real s-l-o-w-l-y den saw bella whole body (she small ma so can see whole body) like onli 1cm away fm me so i literally hahah. i literally jumped on de spot while screaming. happen like fer 1 sec. den hahah. den ain n bella n me lauf lauf. tt 1 ma fault coz i stupidmy tot got ghost den turn ma head slowly ba
haiz. those was gd times. were realy gd great if not hapee times Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 10:16 PM
todae is a damn borin dae fer me
yucks ma hotdog or chicken frank as wad we call halal sausages. noe wad i rather cal hotdog hahah
i din finish ma sentence de le. was sayin ma hotdog veri salty dunno y. mayb de oil i use like tt one or i suppose 2 put sugar in it. hahah tryin ter be funny me
i bored lah nth to do. miss al ma fav shows coz at 1st tt stupid scv got prob den wen i wan watch tv de show not on til late nite n i tink wun be watching oledi coz ayah wil be in de rm den i scare he slpin naked den i go in disturb den see him naked. eewww. not a pretty site nonono.
smack tt al on de floor. smack tt gv me sumore. smack tt.
bored sia dunno wad ter do. sexy tink she bz watching oder new shows in u tube so dun wan distueb her.
yest slp at 1. latest time slp since wad beginin of hol lol
i go kitchen first tak cilli sauce. heck care ma spelling ler
i realise de way i blog same way ma sis blog ler. dun like tt fact. dun wan be same like sis ba. she very disgusting lor juz now
she eating ice, keep takin fm fridge n putting it in mouth, den we tok tok i joke joke she lauf lauf den her yucky saliva like slide outta her mouth den still can lauf lauf sumore. disgusting lor she. den she tadar wif her hands den wok towards kitchen den saliva all gone den she wipe her hands on her shirt. b4 tt i saw her saliva fal to de carpet wor
ask her wash carpet, mop floor, wash hands, mouth n clothes but she din. den she still can touch table n chairs. eewww yucks disgustin grose lor
i rmb de past times we used to always play together nhad lotsa fun. tt time at 860 den sumore durin seperation at 703 den aft divorce oso at 461. u see i rmb al our past adds. means alot to me wor. sensative issue. sobx, sobx. hahah kidding wor i not crying. juz sad de past is over. al de fun time i had al over. haiz sad wor
wait a moment nd change sumting 1st. i blog again ltr hor. bb Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 9:53 PM
Actually memorised de whole song u noe
can sing it too wif de music on of course. cant sing well, always outta tune n stuff, horrible singer i am, heheh
in half hr ma gd show starts
last two post not impt nth ter do so juz type in rubbish, song lyrics tt r meaning ful ter me tt is
wordplay be jason mraz tt song very meaning ful ter me too, n i can sing de whole song without looking at de lyrics yeah! hahah
i prefer ingris songs ter mly ones coz ter me mly songs difficult ter sing n ingris song veri easy to rmb de lyrics hehe. i lazy work ma brain i noe
juz made cuppochino fer breakfast tts al i had so sad so now hving tummy ache coz nvr eat anything ma
relly hate ma maid cooking relly dunno y noe muz get used ter it but like was so called trained since young not to eat lousy food
coz like tt time mak n pops still married ter each other den wen we go out fer lunch or dinner watsoever n evrytime i eat food not nice i wun eat den complain but mak n pops wun like scold me or force me eat or anything den dey dun like waste food so eat my food lor nomatter how ful dey r
pops still do tt i mean ya lotsa time i nvr finish ma food coz not nice or too full den he eat all fer me heheh
listening to clay aiken sing melts me heheh
i realy wan buy his album but u noe im not despo fer it
looks like i hv to wait fer like 1 more yr haiz so sad
i despice al those rich ppl heheh no larr juz jealous but i pity n wish cud help those less fortunate
but ar i dun wan help those in s'pore coz dey very fortunate oledi i wan help those in other countries coz i noe a lot nvr gvn help watsoever by government no offense to dem
but relly sad noe de ones in spore gven lotsa help fm ppl here coz country small ba so easy get help over dr big so not all r noticed even so sad
sumting stinks like baby juz shitted or sumting eewww yucks disgusting grose
i ar getting more n more defiant each day wor coz ar tt time told sexy i wan be free tinker but hor i dun noe really
i belive in god yes i do n he helped me lotsa times ya i noe but juz dun see de point of praying
okok actually i see de point but no motivation wor i nd motivation one like in pri sch coz i lurve ma teachers n in sec sch coz help ma mum wor. i like wok veri hard coz noe tt time ma mum single parent den veri susah fer her so i wok hard saty in express so like she wun be coughing up extra cash to u noe pay sch fees fer 1 extra yr yea i was gd gal den but now i rotten papaya wor
anyway de prayin ting ar, evrytime i pray gd tings happen to me. ya got tt time i nvr pray fer 1 mth durin sec 3 den ma result bad veri bad den i pray durin o lvl den ma result like woah gv me shock wor so gd i din noe can pass ma science relli gv me shock sia
but too bad tt time ar canot celebrate coz ar mak bz adjusting her life wif ayah den my fren wor drpression so like haiz so sad. wait, depression? i dun tink so ba i tink tt time um aiyah cant rmb wor but dun care larr
den now poly moti are ma frrenz told u many times still dun understand ar stupid hahah jking
now hol i wan job so hv $ den can buy tissues fm ppl in de streets den buy my idol album den keep saving til can buy my hp den drumset.
oh drumset canot buy til i move my own house ba coz here no space den too many ppl dun like me making noise here haiz so sad
den i buy hp n ipod onli ar
ya so called big dreams ppl wan be wat teacher al those i wan buy more stuff n waste $ haiz so sad
ard 10 mins more wor smell maggie mee shd i eat maggie but unhealthy but whu cares ar i lost so much weight oledi coz i dunno hols mak me stress coz like nth to keep me occupied fm tinking bout ma famly n ma big dreams n makin ma mu hapeen taking care of ma sisters
ppl tink i so gd but actually wor i veri bad 1 yeap i baddie
tis morn dreamt of me being in a mly movie lol veri funny wan but sry cant rmb now. realli 4get evrytin haiz so sad
i nvr put tis under hate list but tell u now ar
i hate being small n timid n shy n immatured. ya i hate being a sporean bein eldest i hate ma hair i hate my skin color i hate alot of stuff realli
evryday try be grateful realli try but like haiz no use 1
i am wad i am n can nvr change nomatter how hard i try
last time wen younger i tot evry1 can change to be betta but now haiz i see reality sad sia
i hate ma voice oso. if u try record ma voice n play u hear a little gal voice tts y i hate i dun hv mattured voice n im not at al matured coz my devlopment veri slower dam normal
i ask ma mum whether true she say ya coz of ma condition i hate it
ma condition nth serious though jus wen i pri 1 onli heehe
wad else?
sum ppl sae evry1 special in eir own way ya tts true den dey oso sae evry1 is meant to do great tings ya den i tink bout it i disagree
robbers leh? killers? murderers? dey do great tings meh? dun tink so ba. ya sure without them drs no excitement in tis world. rite? tink bout it lerr. lotsa shows show robbers n lotsa movies bout baddie ppl those thingy create excitement ba.
i mean u tink those scriptwriters juz noe how robbers do stuff without doing research on it? no lor dey sure tak fm actual events tt happen ba
i not saying muz gv dem credit lah but u noe dey help us in 1 way or another wad heheh
ain wan a bf she likes sum1. no fair! she got crush oledi i still dun hv hmph! my develop relli veri damn slow sia. haiz sad. ya told ma frenz i like few guys but like its not crush wor juz got imagine us dating n it seemed gd tts all
1 ting i wan share. tis wan really secret plz dun tell ppl wor. wenever i ard boys my bulu roma berdiri. HAHAHAHAh! veri funny i dunno y it juz happens. not i feel high or anything juz u noe nervousness n stuff. ya den wen ard dem ar i like always pretend i another person n like canot be myself ba tts y i no gd making guys as frenz
but yan chen hmm...lets see...i oso feel my bulu roma standing hahah but as days go by gd fren ba so nth much ar...
n dun u guys try sae wat i like him n stuff ar so typical of u all...den wen i sae wer juz frenz u al gv me tt dun wan to belive tt face haiz...baddie u al Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 1:21 PM
I've been all around the world
I've been a new sensation
But it doesn't really matter in this generation
The sophmore slump is an uphill battle
& someone said that ain't my scene
Cause they need a new song like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the record label puts me on the shelve up in the freezer
Got to find another way to live the life of leasure
So I drop my top
Mix & I mingle
Is everybody ready for the single & it goes
Halalalala
Now listen to the verse I lay
Halalalala
It's all about the wordplay
Halalala love
The wonderful thing it does because because
I am the wizard of ooh's & aah's & falala's
Yeah the Mr A to Z they say I'm all about the wordplay
It's time to get ill I got your remedy
For those who don't remember me
Well let me introduce you to my style
I try to keep a jumble when the lyrics never mumble
& the music's making people tongue tied
You want a new song like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the people write me off like a one hit wonder
Got to find another way to keep from going under
Put out the stops
Got your attention
I guess it's time again for me to mention the wordplay
Halalalala
Now listen closer to the words I lay
Halalalala
It's all about the wordplay
Halalala love
The wonderful thing it does because because
I am the wizard of ooh's & aah's & falala's
Yeah the Mr A to Z they say I'm all about the wordplay
I build a bridge across the stream
My consciousness it always seem to be flowing
but I don't know which way my brain is going
All the rythming & the timing keeps the melodies inside of me
& they are coming till I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said
Halalalala
Listen closely to the words I say
Halalalala
I'm sticking to the wordplay
Halalala love
The wonderful thing it does because because
I am the wizard of ooh's & aah's & falala's
Yeah the Mr A to Z they say I'm all about the wordplay
Halalalala
I'm all about the wordplay
Halalalala
Sticking to the wordplay
Halalala love
I love the wonderful thing it does because because
the ooh's & aah's & falala's fall back in love
For the Mr A to Z they say I'm all about the wordplay Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 12:56 PM
It's in the way that you move me
& the way that you tease me
the way that I want you tonight
It's in the way that you hold me
& the way that you know me
when I can't find the right words to say
You feel it in the way
& the reasons they may change
but what I'm feeling stays the same
I get all jumped up inside
just thinking bout the way
Something bout the way you look tonight
There's nothing more to say that
I feel it in the way
No cars no fancy clothes to make him who he's not
Why do you ask him through heaven & earth
to prove his love has worth
Would he walk on water
would he run through fire
would he stand for you when it's down to the wire
would he give his life up to be all he can
Is that how you measure a man
If by chance all he had to give you
his three words rapped round your finger
Would that be deep enough at the end of everyday
& how will you ever know if a man is what he says
He never gvs up
lets go of his dreams
his world goes around for his one true belive
Is that how you know
is that what it means
would he be your anger when the dark unfolds
would he always love you the best that he knows
You got to get what's coming to you
for all the bad things you do to your
Lady
treat her like a lady
You'll make a good girl crasy
if you don't treat her like a lady
What goes around comes around
Just a little bit of love's gonna turn it around
just a little bit of love can do it
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
& your here in my heart
& my heart will go no & on
Love can touch one time
& last for a lifetime
Love was when I loved you
one true time
No, no, no, no
No, no, no
Stick to the stuff you know
It's better before with the things that they are
Don't ask what you don't know
Stick to the status quote
I do not understand
I believe in dreamin'
shooting for the stars
We gotta bop, bop, bop
bop to the top
Bop to the top
don't ever stop
We'll just keep stepping up
& we won't stop
till we reach the top
Together everyone
Together come on let's have some fun
Together forever each other everytime
Together come on let's do this right
We finally figured out
that all our dreams have no limitations
that's what it's all about
Everyone is special in their own ways
we make each other strong
We're all in this together
once we know that we are
we are stars
& we see that
We're all in this together
& it shows when we stand hand in hand
make our dreams come true
We're all in this together
when we reach
we can find know inside
we can make it
We're all in this together
once we see
there's a chance that we have
& we take it Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 12:02 PM
Tuesday, March 06, 2007now sch over so i dun tink writing proper ingris wud help me in any way duh! hahah lol
nowadays always forced to bangkit bangun pagi awal either coz i sneeze myself up fm bed or i got cold nose. not cold feet but cold nose hahahs lol. meaning i got blocked nose @ 1 side den canot tahan so i bangkit dari katil to tak tissue which is like @ my feet side dr so hv no choice but to bangkit dari katil. tink my mly shucks too heheh
makin ma bloggie as colorful s possible coz like relly hv no idea or m i juz so stupid to not noe how to place pics in ma bloggie coz u noe tt i noe tt u noe tt i shuck @ html codes.
sexy online so chatting wif her. lucky tt gal not online so i dun hv to appear offline al de time. not saying sowrie to her oh nononon. nope not my prob not anymore i let go
but ar if i sae let go n if its true wad i sae tt is i let go oledi y i still like toking bout her? shit larr i hvnt let go. ok lets let go together now. 1..2..3...go! hahaha funny sia me. i stress lah
mak felt earth shaking n swaying hahah juz now in de morn den she like called me to ask if i felt it but was out n din feel den sae hm phone engaged so i cal hm n line was bz so i heck care. she sae her boss like sae, "i felt like the whole building goyang2" den sae, "eh y i cant stop bergoyang2" den she sae like the ofc like goyang2 fer 2nd time.
evry1 like panic n tinking whether to go down anot den sum ppl like screaming n stuff. hahah kecoh.
made cuppochino if tts how u spell it ah heck care spelling ar. now drinking it more den 1/2way done but like de drink grow cold oledi so like not nice anymore. muz drink finis while its still hot n nice n tender soft n sweet wad the heck? hahah crap
anyhow went out meet sexy @ city hall den wok halfway tru city link towards suntec den lioness call sexy sae she reach de le wif her frenz so we like wok bak lor. we wok city link coz i din zap ma ic. u see nd zap it n gv lioness de fren de aunty de zappy paper so she can like keep.
so we meet dr den wok sum distance den tak shuttle bus den reach de le den tok to de aunty den go eat @ kfc wer i spent ma last $4 dr. so sad boo hoo i no more $ to travel n enjoy life to fullest. but im satisfied coz tt time i donate like $2 to tis lady selling tissues
she sae like i gv her any amt of $ my heart desires i hv no coin so gv her $2 note lor. chicken was dr yea but her heart no gd my heart gd so i donate. de aunt ask her 1 wor but her heart cold so she ask me donate wor so i kind ba i donate lor
dun tok bou tt my heart pain. i like she like noe i...urgh...dun go dr papaya. u gd gal so be nice todae. ok. nxt
aft kfc sexy n me shok hear lioness sae wan go lib hahah we gv tt face veri funny hahah
me n sexy tak bus 197 de same bus i took yest i tink den tok n tok n tok like so many tings to tok. veri funny. ok we tok bout fri ting den tok2 till tok bou toder stuff den sexy sae ok wad bout de fri ting. den tok til tok bou toder stuff den sexy sae again wad bout fri ting. we discuss den settle tt ting den sexy sae wad bout the rest ting. we tok till tok bout oder ting den sexy sae wad bout rest ting. tok till tok bout oder ting den i sae so wad bout oder ting. den we like lauf2 hahah veri funny sia
ok its lame but its funny wen u actually do it
so go hm den took out 2 outfits to wear fer fri ting n hope lioness agree. den watch tv den Mak hm so eat dinner wif her den mak cuppochino den blog. the end of the dae fer todae. dun tink got gd show tt i like todae. yest tot got house but no house veri sad
watch tv wif Mak til like midnite den slp liao Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 8:49 PM
Monday, March 05, 2007im veri sad veri sad veri disappointed veri veri damn pissed off
dun ask me y it really hurts hurts so bad its sad veri so veri sad
i juz cant belive she can say my mum until like tt
in de past she done tt den i kept warning her n warn her again
but she wun listen n now she went over de line oledi
so i was wrong bout not hving anyone to go to wen im hving probs
ma frenz are de best i ever had in al me life
lurve dem lotsa at least not like uuurrrrggghhhh cant even say de name
gd ting i not crybaby but i got feeling she will cry i tell u wen she read dis
she hurt me bad real bad
pretty rite lerr i take our frenship too seriously like bgr like tt
told sexy i hate her ya i do i hate her fer saying those stuff bout ma Mak
she done tt b4 ya she has i tolerate yes i tolerate
secretly i was burning inside but i cool down noe i cool down coz i lurve her
at least i LOVED her now i dunno anymore ya she WAS ma besties fren in de whole wide universe but nvr tel her coz i hurt all de time
tt ting really triggered me sia i mean was oledi burning inside
read her blog wad she say bout herr was sad real damn sad
guess tts wad she really feel like inside or she wud be lying inside lying to herself lying to de whole wide universe
den say bout ma Mak stupid sia she man im damn pissed off
i got like tag her board like more dan 5 times scolding her n stuff but like she delete dem den i like spam sumore tis time more like cursing like tt like i screaming @ her
i appear offline so she wun tok to me so i wun hv 2 block her den canot tok to her forever n ever
den she msg me waste not onli hers wel whu cares bout her $ waste my $ onli i care
i wil prob cry ltr b4 i slp coz now my heart burning hot hot hot too hot to turn to tears
okay fine if she hate ma Mak so much Mak dun like her so fine no longer ma fren wor
we officially done okay gal done aft all de years i tolerate ur stupid depression den mak me cry coz ur stupid prob wif herr n den faint @ bus stop den landed in hospital ah ur stupid armpit i dun n i wun care anymore okay so good bye
Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 10:00 PM
I'm finally home after bathing & trying the new mangga that Atuk brought ome & cut for us. Chatting with chicken & listening to Taufik's voice @ Ain's blog. I saw Clay Aiken's latest album again. Fell completely in lovre with it. Wanted to buy 1st using the card but didn't bring it. Only had $5 in my wallet. Sad. Very totally completely 100% so sad.
Went to school & met Greenie in the bus while alighting. Never saw her in the bus. She didn't bother calling me either. Don't want waste energy & make a fool of herself I guess. I would feel the same way. She was wearing the same outfit. Green shirt with that not so short shorts with the flowery ribbon.
Watched High School Musical , had to wait 1/2 hour before can watch another movie so used the computer so that's where & when I blogged. Then took the Lady In The Lake vcd & watched it. After that went toilet then discussed on where to go next.
Chicken just mentioned Hazimah. One of her closest & best friends. I like her too. Very adorable uh, good friend. Still prefer my Lioness though.
Took bus 15 to Marine Parade , bought food @ Old Chang Kee. Walked round & round then went from shops to shops especially those with the notice that they are hiring people. Then went for 3 walk-in interviews.
Then thought wanted to buy Slurpee as I miss that thing but the 7-11 there sucks so bought honeydew ice-blended with pearl bubble tea instead. Went across the road then took bus 197 to Bedok interchange. I think it was 197. Correct me if I'm wrong.
So here I am home safe & sound. De Ja Vu. How do you spell it? Don't know don't care. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 8:30 PM
What colourful words I write on. Hahah. Since I came home late day before yesterday, didn't get to eat some nasi ayam Ayah bought. So sad.
Yesterday there was no arab lesson for both Bella & Rawiyah. So sad. I got very bored & coudln't blog as Ain was using the comp to do her work. Her work was to chat with her friends & blog & receive more new songs from friends. That's what I usuallly do to when I'm bored. Last time I used to just read my favourite storybook. Harry Potter by J.K Rowlings.
Therefore, I went to the living room to stare @ my sister & couzin playing Barbie dolls. I stared & stared & stared till I couldn't resist it anymore. So I joined in the fun. Imagine, an 18 year old teenanger who has nothing better to do but to play Barbie dolls with 2 5 & 6 year old girls.
They was drawing @ first so I helped them draw a few things. The theme was pirates. They coloured a whole piece of big piece of paper. Well, at least larger than the normal A4 size paper. I just helped them fold that huge piece of paper to a boat. It was a little big. Can squeeze @ least 2 Barbie dolls in it.
I made the steering wheel & the telescope. We took out all the Barbie dolls & I took the newest & the nicest looking one. One day when I get to buy a new mobile phone with camera I will take a picture of it & show you. Summer's her name. She has that nice scent in her hair when we first bought her. She still smells good now. I love her.
I have to off now. Should be continueing later. I'm in school library with Emily planning to watch movies the whole day. Eating out later but not really sure where or when. Have like $10 in my wallet right now. If possible would like to buy slurpee from 7-11, it's a store & more. Hahah. Miss thier drink. Used to be my favourite drink before I tried root beer. Still love it though.
Have I told you about yesterday? Where I took my very 1st neoprint with Chicken & Aqilah & Zulaishah? Then I planned t buy Clay Aiken's album, A Thousand Words but couldn't find it? So sad. I miss him. I mean looking @ his pictures in my room.
Think I better go now & help Emily find the tape to watch. Don't want scary movie. Want Lake House. Bubye. Love you. Muach. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 2:03 PM
Sunday, March 04, 2007Reading email. Have more than ten ya. Long time never open up email account. Been busy blogging & stuff. Mak & Ayah going out to pasar I guess. Chinese people burning papers for don't know what reason outside. The smell lingers near. Pollution for the air. Bad for asthmatic people like Rawiyah.
Today Ayah's 50th birthday. Wonder how we are celebrating it. Ayah belanja us eat out? Mak buying cake so we can celebrate @ home. Then we go out? Hope we do. Don't want stay @ home the whole day. You know me, Mak does. Very well indeed. She knows I like to merayap far & wide & waste a lot a lot of $ & come home late late @ night.
Mak says there's a black sheep in every family. That was while we were watching this show about a family with the child of the family being the "black sheep". I don't know about every family but I definitely know my family has one. Let's see. Mak is too perfect to be one. Ayah's still new so he can't be one. Rawiyah's too young & innocent. Ain is the smart 1 & is always the one making extra cash which relaxes Mak everytime they see the Minister to collect them.
So what's that left with? Me, duh! I don't do well academically, although I track my own progress & seems that I have been doing quite well with much improvements this semester. I always lead Rawiyah & Ain to the danger zone. As you know I'm the eldest but I don't set not even good examples. I always do the wrong things @ the wrong times. I worry Mak all the time. I make her life seem very miserable by comparing with richer people like my friends & wanting more & more things all the time without thinking about her feelings first. I always blabber the wrong type of jokes @ make people upset, especially my step-father.
I'm selfish & arrogant & all that bad stuff about being a teenanger. What else? Oh there's plenty more. I keep making appointments to go out with my friends without consulting with Mak or anyone @ all. I keep saying I won't be home late but always end up in front of the doorstep near eleven @ night. I never do the housework & act as if, if I really do, I don't care about the face-full-of-rashes maid.
I like to critisize people & tend to make friends with all the types of people Mak dislike. I judge too easily, etc, etc, etc. I can go for hours but then I will start crying.
Cut my fringe myself this morning as kept telling Mak to do it but she just refuses all the time so I like take matters into my own hands. My fringe a little shorter but like can see no difference. Going to change my hairstyle when I meet Emily in school tomorrow. Watching free movies from school vcd's in the school library.
Yesterday I made myself high. It's very embarassing to say this but doesn't matter as my life is a living hell. Just kidding. Woke up as I coudln't stand dreaming of stuff that makes me high. Further Rawiyah kept kicking my bed as she slept on a matress on the floor. Woke me up that girl. When Bella came out from the ladies I went in as I couldn't stand having Rawiyah making herself sick by being in the shower for too long. She will have a cold & have to spend Mak's $ to see the doctor. Why am I being so good all of a sudden?
Man Bella came in to complain about Rawiyah. I asked her to call Rawiyah in. Bella kept saying Rawiyah like to bluff a lot. Rawiyah said Bella was helping her colour but coloured out of line. Bella said Rawiyah snatched the paper away from her. Rawiyah said she never snatched but just pull the paper away. You know children. What did I do?
I slapped them one by one one cheek @ a time & rotan them at their asses one side of the butt @ a time. Then choke them till their death. Whoahahahah! Just kidding people. I would never do such an evil thing to cuties like them.
I made it clear to them. Said, " Okay, Bella coloured your paper wrongly. Then you snatch the paper from her. You are both wrong. So you say sorry to her & you say sorry to her. Go!" Wanted to say go hug each other but don't know why I choked after saying go. Hahah!
But thankfully they walk hugging each other towards the table in front of the tv & continued their co ouring & playing. Good sister am I? Don't think so. I'm sure loads of parents do that to thier children. I'm the eldest so I have more parenting sense then any of my sisters. Duh!
Anyhow, I went to the ladies in the morning while Rawiyah's bathing by herself. Shampooed & conditioned her hair & asked her to wrap herself to keep warm & be gone. Heheh. I didn't say be gone. Oh no I didn't. I said much worse than that. Don't want to tell you. Hmph! Just joking. I'm bored you see.
I then stripped myself naked & bathed. Duh! Who bathes with their clothes on tell me? If you really do with no doubt please tell me. Tag my tagboard or something.
That girl is online. Boy I hate her. Wish to sumpah her & stuff but that's a sin for us Muslims. Mak has done that twice & like one if not both came true. Sin it is for her. But don't believe she will go to hell. She's the best mother ever. Better than some mother's I've seen before. No offence mothers.
Yesterday went out to Yakun Kaya for breakfast. Ate kaya with butter toast, 2 half boiled eggs & milk tea. Mak, Bik Ida & Rawiyah drank milk tea too except thiers is susu cair. Then like went shopping @ NTUC in TM then went home. I bathed & got dressed before going out to meet Chicken to watch her favourite 987FM DJ I guess. She was not excited I think but was a scaridy cat. I have no idea why she was like that. We got so close to her but then she went someplace else so didn't get a chance to meet her personally.
Chicken didn't have the right amount of guts to ask for a picture taken with her even. Scaridy cat. Then went to meet Aqilah & Zulaishah & then Atiqah. Atiqah went into this competion of the biggest Rain fan. She got second place. He, Rain, is now in this movie, forgot the title, but it sucks big time. He acts retarded falling in love with this cyber girl. Stupid movie. No offence to your idol ya Atiqah.
Ate @ LJS & looked for my Clay Aiken latest album but unsucessful so went to Chicken's house to watch the Frog Prince. Then reached home after 10pm I guess. Got scolded by Mak, bathed, called Chicken house to say I'm safe & sound @ home, slept but played with imagination first. Yesterday, my imagination went overboard. That was what made me high.Such an embarrassing thing to tell you in detail.
Mak came home so we sang birthday song & now eating the cake Mak bought. Have I told you it's Ayah's birthday? It is. He's fifty now. So old. But very happy to be living with his lover since even before she got married to Pops.
Yumm, yumm. Lovely chocolate. Wonder where we are going after this? We'll see now won't we.
Mak got the camera ready & took several pictures. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 9:53 AM
Friday, March 02, 2007Counted my savings just now & it all adds up to $24.30 exactly. Got new songs given to me free-of-charge by Sexy Legs. So good of her. A good friend of mine from school.
Mak came & reflexes made me close the window without even knowing I needed to do that. I just typed 2 sentences & I have to be so secretive about it. So sad. The reason I gave her, of course my big pathetic mouth cannot help but lie, was that this is my diary & it's secret. So very sad.
I kept thinking about when the world ends, I will regret not spending all my lifetime with Mak. Kept thinking that the world would soon end and I have to live life to the fullest. Actually I'm trying to live life to the fullest but it just seems so hard. Trying to do what I love doing that is going out spending, more like wasting, money crapping around & making future plans with friends. Urging Pops to buy me what I have been asking from him since like 2 years ago.
Changed my wish list if you haven't noticed. Instead of wanting tings that will do good to the world but I know will never totally come true, just change it to things that I will be able to afford in many years to come. Have saved $24.30. Looking for a job during my holidays that had just started. Once enough will buy the phone 1st.
By the way people I am trying to cut down during the holiday on my spendings. So maybe what Sexy & I discussed about neoprint & all, maybe we can drop that. Sorry if I disappoint you people. & Pepper, I know you were really looking forward to the zoo outing with me. But honestly, if you really think about it, you will have more fun without me. Ah Pek don't have to keep saying channel 5 all the time. Sorry peeps but my mind is made up.
And the movie with Chicken. Maybe we drop that too as we are already meeting tomorrow yeah? Sorry okay. Lastly I have to drop the idea of ice-skating as well. I'm taking in Mak's advise. Stop spending & start really saving for the things I really want like those mentioned in my wish list.
Have been asking for those things for 2 years already you know. Feeling very miserable right now. Lots of sacrifices I have to make. Feeling very, very miserable. Man, I feel sad, bad, guilty & all. But I really truly want those things. You guys should know I do. I'm suddenly feeling desperate for them.
Anyway, I also want to have that feeling of being safe & like have no worries to donate. I actually always wanted to do my own donations. Never told anyone this, not even Mak or Chicken. I always, always never fail to feel guilty everytime I pass by a person asking for a donation. I just kept it all inside. Ya it's a small thing but hey look @ me. I'm small. So every small tiny little bit of things will seem big to me.
Sad, so sad. Miserable, way too down for undesireble outcome. What am I babbling about? No idea. Yes this holiday I want to occupy myself & I want to go out every single day if possible but just to go like the beach or somthing. I'm getting sick of walking through shopping malls too. Everytime I pass by Yamaha Music Shop I will keep staring @ the drumsets if you all noticed.
I already have all the videos of step by step to being a professional drummer. Downloaded them all from the internet @ saved in my email account. Waiting to be used. So sad. During the open house I saw a band performance & guess what? The drummer was a girl. Man was I full of envy when I saw her. A little jealous too.
Sad,so sad. Miserable. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 11:17 PM
Great most of my friends are in bed and not so busy trying to keep track of what they are crapping about anymore.
My dream the night before last night was a great dream. Kind of emphasized on the other dream I had about me being on stage & in line with several people singing out loud on stage with the audience cheering for us.
This time all my relatives plus the ones that are beyong my recognition are on stage doing their own things. As if all of us dedicated our lives on stage. All my uncles were doing stunts on mats at one paft of the stage. The stage has been divided into half as it seems. On the other half, Mak & my other aunties were sitting around a small tea table chatting happily with my couzins sitting on the floor of the stage. As if they were back stage but the whole audience could see them.
I went to the middle curtain & sat on the sofa there. One of my couins was there. One of my uncle's with moustage was trying to demonstrate something to the audience when Ain popped up from nowhere & asked them to do the previous stunt as she didn't get to see it. They tried doing it again but kept making many mistakes.
I got a microphone from nowhere & had a very brilliant beyond brilliant idea. Asked him to laugh then I laughed. It sounded very funny & the audience started laughing. When they made more mistakes we made more funny laughters cracking the audience up. We were enjoying it too. We laughed our butts out.
Our uncles gave up trying to do the stunt again & let us do a special en-core performance. We were the laughing stalk of the whole event. That was when I woke up. I played my imagination involving Ain, Rawiyah & Bell this time. Until I actually laughed by myself rolling on bed. It was too funny I just couldn't resist not laughing. People would think I was crasy.
Had another dream last night but forgot all about it.
I realised something. Lioness wanted a packet of tissue & I had one. But only 1 & I wanted it for myself. She already held her hand out but I told her I only had 1. Then Sexy said she had one too so I said take from her. Hope I wasn't being selfish. Just want to get it across that I didn't mean to be a pain if I was being a pain.
Plan to go meet Chicken see 987FM DJ's @ somerset MRT around 4pm. I will be early, hopefully. Pops not taking ur out on Sunday so I urge Mak to take us out. Hopefully i twill be a good day as we are celebrating Ayah's birthday on that day. He is turning 50 yeay! If it was me, I will not be in the mood for any celebration. So old. Hahah.
On Monday watching many movies with green Emily. Shall we call her Greenie? She likes green so much you know so why not? Hahah. On Tuesday going out with Sexy & Lioness & hopefully Pepper too so we can finally take neoprint & maybe even watch a movie together. Man am I spoiling myself or what? I love doing it. It's my specialty. :)
On Wet-ness-day to Fry-day I am fully booked by Lioness & Penguin. On the next weekend Pops ain't bringing us out either so I have to come up with something to keep myself busy. Maybe then we can go Pulai Springs or whatever in Malaysia so I can workout & go for a delightful swim. Then I can eat my favourite hotplate noodle @ Giant.
Next whole week I need to keep myself busy but so far no one'sbooking me for anything. I'm free the whole day people so please do book me for any outing. I'm saying i tas if I'm a life hotel trying to get customers to stay in me. Hahah! Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 10:04 PM
Continue from yesterday shall we? Where were we yesterday?
Okay just want to apologise first to my god-brother. Didn't know I was too much. I can be very mean too at times so you guys have to tell me if I am. So sorry don't mean to hurt your feelings. Moving on.
I wanted so much to go into the destruction but my seniors stopped me. Telling me it was too dengerous for me & they would help me find Mak the best they can. I was tearing, crying hard & trying no to think of the worse.
I cant continue with this. Chatting with so many people online. Can't concentrate on this. Later hokay? Don't be sad. Will continue later. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 9:06 PM
Thursday, March 01, 2007Played with my imagination last night. Was working as usual in Venture Era. Was attending a seminar of some sort. Was called upon to enter the front mini stage & talk about myself. Sat down then suddenly a loud "BOOM!" The building next to ours, Suntec City Tower 4 (no idea why it's there) went down to peices.
I became worried, my heart beat faster with every minute that passed. Told my seniors my mum works there. Called her office but no one answered. Dialled her mobile and she picked up saying, "Fifa, bom kat bilik sebelah je. Mak, ah..." Phone went dead. I panicked.
Went to the bombing site as fast as my legs could carry me. On my way there, called my sister in school telling her what happened asking her to get home with Rawiyah & the maid & to stay @ home for further instructions. Called my step-father to inform him so he could get there to help find Mak. Called atuk to ask him for a favour to get home & take care of my sisters.
Was crying my eyes out when I reached there. Oh forgot something. Before calling my sister I called the police and the ambulance so they were already on their way when I reached the bombing site. Love is a great thing
If only you knew..
Published at 9:21 PM