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Monday, May 28, 2007

today wearing pink mickey mouse shirt and covering that with my long-time-never-wear white jacket. wearing my never-worn-to-school-before green ring. wearing white sneakers with green socks and blue jeans. why must i describe what i wear all the time? simple reason is because i have no idea how to start my post. my last post was last friday if im not wrong. or was it the week before that. not that it matters that much. still matters but not that much. i am repeating myself. recursion. a very important topic that nalaka has been trying to explain so very clearly during lectures and the extra classes. alot of students benefit alot from those classes. shows he really cares and knows his work very well. only problem id chinese student finding it quite hard to understand what he talks bout all the time. most of the time actually. but once they get used to it its fine. its so very fine. im repeating myself again. on saturday i like woke up the latest i think. kinda forgot that morning part. was so busy playing with my imagination trying to think of the best and most efficient way to apprach my boy friend. no i don't have a real boy friend. this one im refering to fuji the famous seigaku's progidy tennis player and hes only 16 i bet. sekoi. hes handsome and very cute and charming to me. of course he is cartoon but hey pretending every once in a while wont hurt. of course if too much you will want more than that then you will change your attitute so called and it would effect others around you and the society will see you as an insane person gone berserk etc, etc. im not up to that level yet. im only at the stage where the more i imagine the more i think my life sucks as my imaginary world is so good and when i compare it to real life oh yea it sucks all right. lets see. i started playing with my imagination when mak and pops was always fighting and i felt lonely and ain was too young to understand and i had no real friends in school i can talk to pathetic i know but because of that i switched to the creative part of my brain. that was how i got my very own band the mp's with patty and sarah and michelle sofie sonia tanya brain sakura kikadakash. oh my its already 2.54. i have a lecture at 3 so chao!!!

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 2:39 PM

Monday, May 21, 2007

all purplish today. not really. wearing purple blouse i wore yesterday when went out with mak and ain and rawiyah for dinner. went back home to watch the last hour of spiderman then news 5 tonight then watched ugly betty. im waiting for friday to come. no not for the socio class. socio is very interesting though. more interesting than psycho. and much much easier. the terms are mopre fsmiliar and the vocab aint that chim to understand. wonder what cds i should take next semes then? hmm...i wonder. listening to my handy dandy mp3. not to the songs that i saved in there but to class 95FM. checking ou tmy mail an sorts. blogginf while downloading three arcade games from games.com webby. okay it took like fifteen whole wasted minutes to get all these application and software programs to get fully loaded up. trying to apple stipid carc into the sentence but it didnt really work. forgotten most of what i ahve learnt. dcnk, my favourite subject too. oh so sad. okay i like clicked the link for like three times then the wondow appears. baka seriously who installs these computers. green day's new song. meaning the song i heard the first time. not their greatest fan. dont even think im their fan at all. but like some of their songs. okay just looked into my email and found four pops pictures. photos of only himself wearing an "expensive" suit. so should i be like "woo! my dad is so handsome!" or should i be like "oh! this is so touching! he knows we miss him so much he gives us his photos to remember how he looks like!" or should i be more like "dang! pops! your so vain! taking pictures of yourself! you think your daughters can forget how you look like just because we didnt see each other for over 2 months already!". so which one. honestly i want to tell him the third one but its lik so mean. so i was thinking the first one coz the second one is like too mushy and such a lie for me. i remember the last time we went out with him was so damn boring. then the many many many weeks after that he never contacted us. then one day he called and like talked a little to three of us one at a time. then he had the guts to say he wont be seeing us for like many more weeks. me heart was like burning into ashes. since then i tried to forget i even had a biological father. i try to no think about it but this is really getting into me. I can tell it bothers me a lot last couple of weeks. I can tell as i find myself drifting away from my friends in school. i like to isolate myself in my room listening to my mp3 and reading the socio book every weekend. i find sometimes im quite paitient with rawiyah but most of the time i just cant stand her attitude and sorts. and nowadays i like dont pay any much attention to ain anymore. like when she goes insane in our room and tells me all sorts of things i would just listen and look at her face. sometimes i will be listening to my mp3 with one ear and the other pretend to listen but actually im not hearing a thing shes saying. worst thing is with mak. i find the older she gets the more she expects from me to be more responsible for the house, the toilet and she gets slower and more forgetful. i have seen and know a few old people and they dont have forgetful brains and they can work pretty fast. why is mak like that then. sometimes she keeps talking bout pops which is really interesting but when it gets to me i will feel so irritated. last weekend i treated mak so unfairly. give that stupid attitude of mine. she wants me to help her do the housework but all id o is sit on the couch munching, watch tv, write notes, listen to my mp3 and locking myself in my room reading the socio book. when she asks me to do stuff i dont want to or dont feel like doing i will like give attitude. bang the stuff, mumble curses behind her back and sorts. thats like so mean of me. but thats me when im at home. such an evil papaya. i try to change this week. i will change at home first. if ayah can do it so can i. although sometimes he dont realise it. maybe he does but i dont know. just take him as good example. im sure you dont have a clue to what im babbling about. dont feel like telling you. ayah is a good father. he can be 100% so much better than pops is mak ever married him and only him in the first place. yea sometimes i blame mak partially for marrying pops in the first place. there wont be me then but aint that better than all of us suffer forever in this suffering loop and can never get out of it. i hate it.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 11:17 AM

Monday, May 14, 2007

lets continue from where we left off. have another hour of break but my group like no mood to do or discuss or even mention bout our cmsk4 assignment. looks like we will be going home quite late today. all we have done so far is only research on autistic children and that not even i did. sexy did that. mango dont know she seems so busy with her own life. she only does things at the very last seconds and i do mean at the VERY LAST SECONDS. other groups, also my friends, have at least done their share of teh work. my group would be the worst of all. i dont quite like the teacher. cmsk4 teacher sucks. but still not as much as the sucky big fat ALL ROUNDED atti-dude lab tutor. so friday night we wrote, composed, came up with the dance steps. saturday ain had to study for her bio exam on monday. we also did mak a mothers' day card on that day. on sunday reharsed for the final cant remember how many times and performed for mak then gave her the card at night when ayah was out having his religious class. on fathers' day i plan to ask ain to create another poem and i want to choreograph and compose another song. and i will ask rawiyah to do more tough actions and say more complicated phrases. have to take it slow and steady. can say this year is poem making song composing and dance choreographing year for mother, father, children and youth day. thinking of which, i also wish to create something for rawiyah's childrens' day. and maybe something for my own youth day. not bad, so not bad. however i forgot something so very important yesterday. i have completely 100% forgotten to wish mak a Happy Mothers' Day early in the morning when i woke up. why? well, first of all, very importantly, i was daydreaming. meaning i was playing with my imagination. dating fuji. you know, that anime character in prince of tennis. he is my fav character there. i dont quite like echizen coz of his snobbish attitude. fuji has unlimited potential like the coach says. ok enough bragging. i need to do the cmsk4 thing. current situation for autistic children. hmm...honestly i have no idea what the teacher expects of us. she aint making it clear to me. it aint going into my head, just going through it. hahah.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 2:06 PM

wednesday was qute a long time ago. what did i do since then. thursday normal, friday as usual. now in school lab not fav lab doing some stuff. wanted to do tutorial but then heck care. wanted to discuss bout cmsk4 submission and presentation tomorrow but ended up slacking now. friday afetrnoon ain and i made a very interesting present for mak to give to her on mothers day on sunday which was yesterday. she wrote a malay poem which goes like this : Kopi mak tak rasa pahit; Mak jaga kami bila kami sakit. Jalan-jalan cari makan; Jasamu tak kami lupakan. Mak menasihati kami; Jangan pakai baju seksi. Jom masak maggie mee; Tanpa mak siapalah kami? Kami akan berdoa agar; Mak dilindungi sentiasa. Orang bermain bola sepak; Kami tak akan tinggalkan mak. Jangan fikir yang bukan-bukan; Merepek meraban taik apek satu jamban. please dont ask me to translate that in english. ask banana or pretty instead. not that i dont want to just that my malay is way beneath the drain. this poem was done by ain not me. i only did most of the choreography and the composing.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 12:04 PM

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

in fav lab blogging going online and they are burning some cds. school stuff what else. they talking in chinese and me listening to my very new and improved mp3. many days never update you so must say it now. did i tell you bout my new mp3? think i did. if not than too bad. whoahaha. monday during the three hours break my friends and i went out eat somewhere. these days since last week if im not mistaken, some of my friends are really not comfortable being with each other. its not funny its a very serious case. may lead to friendship breakups and all sorts. i ate 2 plain pratas, pretty and banana each ordered iced milo dinosaur. the rest went to the hawker in near kfc. us three girls talked and joked alot. alot alot. not that much but still alot. then we joined the rest at the hawker talked further. went back to school do some stuff. then go home. yesterday came to school as usual then go home as usual. ooh no. started school at 8 in the morning and ends at 7 in the evening. i honestly honestly have nothing else to write.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 12:56 PM

Monday, May 07, 2007

in school in lab class for sssd. dont ask me what it stands for. learning to write C# codes. not as confusing as java. very similar but need to always note the difference. it's also case sensitive. but there's like 2 subjects teaching C#. one subject on Operating Systems and another on erm...well, i forgot. i have been slacking all the way through the weekend. a have been concentrating more on Samba in secret. i'm not those who likes showing off my talents. i'm shy but i'm cute. don't think i don't know you want to puke right? what the hell. hmph! fine. i was a little lost just now as i was doing many different things at the same time. like chatting online with Sexy Legs, blogging which is what I am doing right at this very moment, cheching out the school's blackboard. no not the white board. blackboard. it's an online thing that we make use of everyday to access all the teaching materials and sorts. we can get all the lecturers contacts using it and sometimes we also have to submit our assignments online using the blackboard. so you see it is a very useful thing. if only, they could provide evrything for us instead of making us check in every week and printing the notes ourselves. sucks like hell yea. my eyesight is getting bad. not the worse but still quite bad. i can hardly see any words but the numbers on the screen. should tell teacher that i need to sit quite up front to see well. oh boy i'm behing class. i'm behind pretty. she's always so fast. doing it all herself. only when she has questions then she will like talk to the teacher. she and banana getting closer. there is Samba on wednesday. if only it would be tuesday. penguin online. other than telling you my current situation i have no idea what to write. oh the friday class. i was a little relieved that there were more girls this time. seven i think. but there are still more boys. you can count the exact ratio of boys is to girls. 2:1. sucks. there were four people absent on that day so i think it aint over yet. hope that four are all girls. i want more girls! ouh, so class is over so bubye.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 8:43 AM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

hello everyone! greetings people! hey peeps! yo all! hahaha. kewl. just got hanakimi song begining and ending from lioness yesterday night. very nice the songs. i like. at home of course waiting for time to pass but not too fast as i still havent done my hair for later. yes going out later for samba. will bring psycho handbook to pass to andika later. me and samba, me and pretty, me and sexy growing closer and closer. lioness, banana, penguin, mango, pepper and papaya like dont mix too well. sad. i pato with sexy again today. this time not as romantic as monday. the lecture theatre lights were on and we had notes to recopy instead of just putting our legs up and talk. pepper, penguin, mango, lioness when put together always talk cina i dont like. at least when banana talk to pretty in melayu i understand. last time i try to hear their words and can make guesses what they talk bout but i dont even want to try now. tired of trying. sometimes i try to butt in by asking them to speak bahasa ingris but they end up talking in cina among themselves again. sometimes i feel so fed up with that. its nice to let it all out after bottling it inside my tinnie winnie skimpy body for a week or so now. too tired to elaborate some more. guess its coz i never do my mini exercises everyday i become more tired more often and sorts. ya since sec four i ahce been doing mini exercises every now and then quite often. now i stop just like that. getting more and more lazier by the day. music in my ear a bit too loud giving me slight headaches every now and then but lazy to change volume. i will go deaf soon. ish dont say such things please. i dont want to get deaf. i want tohave perfect eyesight so i dont have to waste money buy specs and wear them everyday. then i dont have to get my eyes checked every year. can save money and time and effort. i will have lesser responsibilities, no need wash my specs every now and then, dont have to take them out and place them back into cases, dont havt o wipe them everytime the lenses get a little dirty and uncomfy and sorts. having specs sucks. sucks big time. told lioness during one of the tutorials. i envy all those that has perfect eyesight. like yan chen, lioness, pretty. shucks man.

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 5:10 PM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

tired tired. so very tired. sleepy and tired. can hardly concentrate on anything. alone at home as mak and the others out at jurong. they eat dinner there i guess. when i called they were at home but guess they know my habit of saying i was on my way home but it will actually take me two hours or more to reach home so they didnt bother wait for me or tell me anything. they just left and went to jurong for dinner. jurong for dinner means they go falishah's house. falishah is baby girl of my cousin's. my cousin not married but had premarital sex so have baby girl. but most of the time her mum, my aunty takes care of the baby. can say my cousin very irresponsible. tell you story of my relatives later. yesterday during break lioness and penguin took the three whole hours printing. pepper took one hour plus. pity yan chen had to take away food to the lab to eat as he had only 2 hours of break then he had to rush to his class. the rest only had half hour to eat lunch. it was my mistake to order such hot and spicy food so i was the last to finish. first time for me to finish last. next time must gambate not to finish last again. during the next lesson sexy and me went to the ladies, on our way back had saw lioness, mango and pepper going ladies so we followed them go ladies for the second time. then lioness had girl emergency case so sexy and me went to class and took padding from mango's bag. but the class like too many people so need move furniture and sexy at first dig the wrong bag. lol. so tool quite long. in the meantime i was holding lioness's drink and while waiting i was sipping bit by bit. by the time we reached the ladies i almost finish the water. then pepper took all the ice. lol. lesson ends. they want to continue printing. like three hours printing still not enough? i was like wth -_-". but cant blame them the school on budget and sorts. baka school. so sexy and me go pato in the lecture theatre. hope chicken wont get jealous after reading this. lioness wont be jealous. she is so damn straight. kept rejecting me. sobx. lioness now complaining to me bout stuff. shes the type that likes to complain to people about things that happens to her that she dont like or not satisfied with. im used to getting complaints from her. its not bad. most of the things she complain bout are true. kakaka. sometimes i complain with her too. kekeke. what was i saying. oh yes. sexy and i pato. last time i remember on valentines day i went patoing with lioness. but after that she straightaway dump me. sobx so sad. now i try with sexy. hope she wont dump me. if my heart break once more haiz i dont know. i will commit suicide i guess. KIDDING people! im not a lesbian, believe me. today in the middle of the morning, not night. think it was three or four plus. it rained and vehicle alarm went off on one of the motorbikes. it kept going on for a few half hours i guess. and the rain was noisy too. but cant blame nature. i blame the damn motorbike. baka no brain the owner. baka baka baka. but finally it stopped and i went back to sleep. few hours later mak woke ain and rawiyah up and i woke up because of her loud voice. i played with my imagination. speaking of which, nowadays i kept imagining the same situation but in different appraoches and sorts. dont know why im alwasy unsatisfied with the result of my imagination then i will like go back to the first scene and try to imagine a different type of scenes that comes after that. okay back to topic. i rolled on my bed for an hour or so then sat down another hour or so then bathed, got ready. went downstairs stoned for half hour observing everyone packing for the barbeque. i was feeling like damn tired and didnt have the mood to do anything. just wanting to stand there doing nothing. they went out. i was home alone. took my own sweet time to do my hair and straighten my clothes and choose a suitable pair of earring and shoes. checked all the windows closed and locked. checked pearl's food and water is enough till they get back home, locked gate and door, went out. took 69 to bedok. took 163 to woodlands. went ladies, walked at basement, bought sweets, went up to banquet, sat down, waited for kaushik and wenda. they came we walked around, bought tickets, asrol came watched wild hogs laughed a lot coz the show was damn funny but kind of too short. not even two hours. waste money. oh by the way i was suppose to borrow money from my bro but he said it was a treat. aint that sweet of him. hahah. of course i would say so. i watched a movie for FREE. kakaka. took 969 to tampines, then 291 home. the end. this post getting abit too long i just paste my latest pictures then im off. enjoy adimiring at my hotness! (copy cat pretty, kakakah)

Love is a great thing
If only you knew..

Published at 9:26 PM